One Body in Christ

So we are on day 22 (Sundays do not count as part of 40 days of lent) and for all of you who are taking part in a lenten sacrifice with me know this is probably the hardest time on the journey. The excitement of receiving ashes and sharing with your friends that you are giving up sweets or sleeping in a tent is long gone. We are the nitty gritty weeks where we truly see what we are made of. It is during this time that I believe we truly get a good look at who we are, and where we are in our own journey with Christ.

The Temptation 
Last night I think I had my first real temptation throughout my entire journey. My roommate Steve left for Colorado Thursday afternoon and so I knew that this weekend was probably the last weekend of the year I would have the house to myself. Although I love the man I am not going to lie I was pretty excited! This meant I would not have to do dishes right away, I could play music as loud as I would like, and I knew I would not have to share the N64! Steve and I both love Zelda and we take turns playing all the time, so the idea of not having to worry about hogging the t.v. was as exciting as watching grandma's apple pie bake in the oven on thanksgiving! I was really looking forward to it!

Last night I walked into the house at 10 pm after a long day at Church and just getting a lot of things done. I was tired but I also felt great at all I was able to accomplish, and so of course I decided to reward myself with a game of Zelda. I don't know if any of you have ever played Zelda or any adventure video game but seriously it was like I didn't even blink and it was already 2 a.m! That was the longest I have ever played a solo video game like that since I was a kid! All that I felt like I had accomplished during the day diminished into a feeling of exhaustion and regret of playing for 4 straight hours. I immediately thought of all I could have accomplished instead....such as updating the blog, cleaning my room, or even reading more Narnia. It was in that time of regret that I turned and noticed a little rain and wind outside. I was not prepared to enter the tent.

My feelings from my last blog about a cold front coming in could not have been more right. I knew God would not make sleeping outside that easy for me. This past week it's been getting into the low 20's at night. The other day I even woke up to frost and snow was beginning to fall! So of course being really tired and having no immediate accountability from Steve, I honestly thought about sleeping inside. I don't think my bed has ever looked more warm and comfortable than at that moment.

I will tell you the only thing that kept me from getting in that bed at that moment is that I knew I would regret telling everyone that I failed. Of course I wouldn't have too, no one would no if I didn't tell them, and I probably would have said it in a way that would not make me look as bad such as "the weather was just to rough" or "I wasn't felling well enough to be outside." But I knew the truth, and I thank you for helping me stay accountable simply by reading this blog. It was because of you that I put on my two layers of socks, sweatpants, jacket, and hoodie, and went outside to face the cold.

The truth is that as soon as I stepped outside I noticed the rain died down to nothing but a light drizzle and the inside of my tent was still completely dry. Just like all the other cold nights once I got into my sleeping bag I was fine. I warmed up, set my alarm, and thank God for the strength to embrace the tent for one more night. I went right to sleep.


The Lesson
In light of what happened last night, it hit me that we are not people who are called to be alone. It was being in am empty house and having no accountability that I put myself in a position to choose my own comfort over my own love for God. Having a community of brothers and sisters that are running the same race with you makes it so much easier than being on an empty track. What I am trying to say is that I miss Steve and I cannot wait for Him to come back!

For anyone else who may be struggling to remain faithful with their sacrifice or have had similar temptation, I wanted to help remind you, as I reminded myself last night, the reason we chose to make a lenten sacrifice in the first place. It was to show that nothing on this world could possibly provide more happiness and pure joy than that of having a relationship with Christ. So together for 40 days we are wiling to give up the gifts of this world and make them our own offering to God. Demonstrating not only by prayer or simply Church attendance, but by our very actions, that He is the only thing worth living for...worth dying for. It is difference between being at the foot of the cross and being on the cross. Just as he chose to freely be crucified, we freely give up our comforts so rightly given to us, so that we may participate in His sorrowful passion.

Last night sleeping in the cold did not bring me immediate happiness, but I will tell you when I woke up this morning I was so thankful and I rejoiced that I was given another night to show God just how much I loved Him.